Friday, August 17, 2012

What if? 50 Shades of Snow White

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! I loved writing this, and I hope you guys catch all the little details, and I hope you enjoy this :) This is for the What if? Fairytale Blogfest, and my entry is 50 SHADES OF SNOW WHITE for Team Comedy. Woo!

Snow White ran through the dark forest, twigs and thorns slashing at her face and drawing blood. It felt good, but she had to keep running -- her crazy step-mother wanted to kill her.

She came across a small house in the woods, and peeking through the window, she saw seven little figures bobbing up and down like tops.

"Seven men all alone in a house," Snow said. "Yes. My favorite."

So she walked in, and of course, the seven men went crazy after her except one guy, who lay in the corner snarling.

"Oh, don't mind Grumpy," said Sleepy (which was Snow's favorite dwarf, because she loved to sleep).

"That's okay. I'll teach him how to be Happy," Snow said, and everyone laughed.

This all ended when the Queen arrived, holding a bright red apple, and Snow, like any idiot would do, ate it.

"Ah ha!" the Queen cried, jubilant with joy. "Snow has fallen!" (The dwarfs looked up, expecting to see a blizzard, but it was sunny. Then, they saw her body and were not confused.)

It was a sad, quiet funeral. Her body was put in a golden tomb, and Sleepy put a flower between Snow's crossed hands. They put flowers all around the tomb. Everyone cried.

That all ended when Prince Harming rode into town. He snatched the flower from Snow's hand and threw it aside quite roughly (he had a thing about stealing women's flowers) and planted a kiss right on Snow's mouth.

"Ow!" Snow said, rising on top of the tomb, the flowers completely messed up by this time. "You hurt my hand." But with one look at Prince Harming's gorgeous face, she blushed, and said, "It's all right."

And they went riding happily ever after.

Hope you guys liked it :) First time writing something like that... it was fun :) Thanks again! Check out the rest of the entries here:


  1. "And Snow, like any idiot would do, ate it" <---LOL. Love the voice.

    "He had a thing about stealing women's flowers" <---Hahaha. Loved this.

    And love Snow's response when she wakes up. Soooo not expected. I like your writing. It's tight, has a quirky humor to it. Really fun!

  2. LOL Prince Harming.

    I was terrified I was going to click on this and see stuff about The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. But that was of course the reason I hurried to check it out. :P

  3. Aloha SC,

    Hey dude, that was awesome. *LOVED* the double-entendres and the "imbedded risque-ness :)

    Definitely comedy (Prince Harming is hilarious :) and I'm glad Morgan gave you a shout out - it's well deserved!

    Let me know when you have your "followers" link up and running... for now I'm following via email :)

  4. Replies
    1. Nope ;) AHHHH. THIS IS GETTING TOO MUCH FOR ME!!! I don't know how EL James survived writing three books....

  5. That was very sweet. A fun read, and some great lines!

  6. Ahahaha! That was hilarious. I'm tweeting it.

    P.S. You should write comedy more often.